Redemption

I’m working on a trial project that I’m really excited about. I’m learning how story themes can dramatically impact how we see the world. So I decided to write out my story through the lens of two story themes – Ascension (rags to riches) and Loss & Redemption (having something, losing it, and coming back to regain it or to get even something better). It fits really well.

family

I met my dad for the first time when I turned 1, and then I didn’t see him again until I was 3 ½ and my mom and I came to America. My dad had fled Communist Romania as a political refugee and worked in Turkey & Greece for years before getting accepted and sponsored to come to the US.

My parents had master’s degrees and solid jobs in Romania. They came here and my dad worked on call 80+ hours/week fixing boilers and my mom made window blinds for minimum wage. We moved 8 times before I started high school, because we were scrambling to survive and get access to better opportunities.

I remember sitting in kindergarten and feeling so embarrassed because I didn’t speak English, I didn’t understand the customs, I didn’t have any friends, and couldn’t understand what the teacher was saying and would always get in trouble for it. I vowed that I would do whatever it took to succeed.

I proceeded to try my hardest to get straight A’s, get into a good college, and volunteered to lead or start any club I could. I did co-ops and internships and started my own entrepreneurial projects. I studied abroad in Barcelona and started my own club promoting business there. I networked my hat off and even transferred schools to be in the center of the Boston entrepreneurial ecosystem.

The years of hard work paid off. I graduated college and landed my dream job. I was making way more money than I needed, I had ​an attractive, caring​ neuroscientist-to-be girlfriend, ​we were living in a nice apartment in one of the most popular parts of Boston, and from the outside it looked like I had it all. I had made it. Everything my parents worked so hard for.

It was good, but it wasn’t great. I knew I was settling.​ This wasn’t my life, this was the life everyone else wanted for me.​ I wanted more. So I decided to make a change, take a risk, and leave it all behind.

On July 4th, 2013 – I left my corporate job. And I invested thousands in life coaching school.

And my life basically crumbled.

I went from steady income in a prestigious role to making WordPress websites for energy healers and life coaching my friends, which I quickly got disillusioned by.

The quest to discover my path and my people led to stringing together internships, apprenticeships, consulting gigs, and educational opportunities. I had a business & tech background, so I gravitated towards marketing, product/project management, and design. I worked for free all the way up to $100/hr. It was a rocky road though.

I prioritized education, personal growth, and relevant experience over money. I valued my time and turned down opportunities that weren’t a fit. And thank god I had saved up for almost a year before doing it, because I would’ve run out of money long ago otherwise.

I broke up with my wonderful girlfriend of 2 years and moved back in with my parents.

I planned to take a year off of work to devote myself to personal healing full-time, healing childhood trauma and rewiring mental patterns and behaviors that weren’t serving me. Then my mom got cancer, and I helped manage the family real estate business while she went through surgery and chemotherapy.

I made $2,000 in 2015. Pre-tax.

But I invested thousands of dollars in myself. And in hundreds of hours of focused training with experts. It paid off big.

For the first time in my life, I feel unstoppable. I am clear on what I want, I have a realistic appreciation of my skills and blind spots, and I have the support structures in place to enable peak performance.

And now it’s time for my come back. For my Redemption.

I’ve got the opportunity that I’ve been looking for right in front of me. Years of training, waiting, doing real, hard, true work – all leading up to this moment.

An opportunity to leverage my Unique Gifts to help people that I want to be around and that I want to grow to become more like. The opportunity to build the experience and skills that will enable me to create what I desire to create with the rest of my life. Community. Financial Freedom. Impact.

The opportunity to take all my educational experience, my work experience, and my specific process and perspectives to make a huge impact on this project. My contribution will make the difference between tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars in this launch. And millions in the future.

Let’s fucking rock, baby.

Just Fucking Do It

lion

Today’s challenge was just to get this site up and write a blog post.

Boom. Done.

It reminds me of this book called “The Underachiever’s Manifesto” that extolls the virtues of “the right action, in the right quantity, at the right time.” Boom.

After spending most of my life as a perfectionist, this feels really good.

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.” Fuck yeah – AND, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing half assed.”

So I guess this blog will involve excessive use of bad language. So that happened.

Today I woke up just ready to fucking go. I watched this Conor McGregor video where he says something like this…

“I am taking what I want and I am doing what I want. When you can rack up $500MM for the company in back to back events, you can do whatever the fuck you want. I am living the ‘whatever the fuck I want’ life. Whatever I want, whenever I want. And I’ve earned that through real work, sacrifice, and victory, and I continue to earn it through real work.” ~ Conor McGregor

It helped me realize that… We’re all living the “whatever the fuck we want” lifestyle. It’s just some of us don’t know what we’re choosing.

I am so, soooo grateful to be able to sleep in today. I feel energized and happy and grateful and ahhhh sooo good!

And I earned that shit. I earned it through working my ass off while living at home with my parents when everyone was telling me to go get an apartment in Boston and blow my whole paycheck. Which would have been fun. But now – three fucking YEARS later – I’m still living off of those savings, and they enable a level of choice and security in my life that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

And I continue earning it day-to-day. By showing up, and doing the WORK. The real work. Like Conor McGregor said…

“Everywhere I look, I see fake work or pretend work or pose work. I put in real work, hard work. And that’s it. People pull out all the time and people make excuses all the time but I just get on with it. I put in the work and reap the rewards and that’s it. And that’s why you see me with everything, I’m in complete control of this whole game.” ~ Conor McGregor

For me, the Real Work has been doing the internal mindset reconfiguration. Reconditioning my central nervous system and reprogramming the beliefs in my mental operating systems to change how I structure reality. This shit is hard, but it works. Way better than “staying busy” and doing the same shit over and over.

But action is key as well. “All I can control are my actions and, to an extent, where I direct my attention.” ~ Dr. Lawrence Peltz

Action and focusing the energies into building something REAL is where it’s at. That’s what changes EVERYTHING – feedback from reality that things are different. Everything has shifted. That’s what changes one’s self-image permanently. And then the actions naturally follow.

I guess that’s why I’m starting this blog again. I feel a deep longing to share what I’ve learned. To share my stories and be seen and heard, with the hope that these lessons will help others live the lives they desire.

To put my STORIES into ACTION in REALITY to create an ASSET that shifts my REALITY of how I see myself and am seen by others. Keep showing up, keep sharing, keep giving value and speaking my truth. Who knows where it will lead?

First blog post… Complete. Looking forward to showing up and putting in the time and work, trusting what comes out.

P.S. “2015 was my year. 2016 is also my year. Every year is my fucking year.” ~ our boy Conor McGregor